Fitness Fanatics

There is an exclusive health club on Spokane’s South Hill.  Only a few elite fitness fanatics are allowed to join, and only they are aware of its existence.  This lucky handful of extremely athletic men and women have a few things in common.

ONE: Each of these grunting, sweaty tank top and bootie short sporting gym treats has dedicated on a regular basis at least three hours a day, six days a week to working on achieving, perfecting, or maintaining a physical presence that is worthy of awe.

TWO: These workout freaks are chiseled, cut to perfection, lean, ripped and bouncing a coin off their six pack abs-toned.

THREE: Every single one of this special health club’s devoted enthusiasts has taken the pursuit of physical magnificence to the most extreme levels including abusing at least three supplements never to be approved by the FDA.

FOUR: All of these faithful, single-minded souls were recommended by a member in good standing who vouched for them, guaranteeing the required levels of vanity, masochism and dedication necessary to achieve consistently impressive results.

FIVE:  Every last one of these steroid popping, cleanly shaven, oiled up, energy drink junkies…is dead.

SIX:  They all lived well and died happy.

For them…this is heaven.